Marilyn Monroe: My Lovely Infatuation
There are so many things I love about Marilyn Monroe…
Today I was on the phone with my grandmother, and told I her how excited I was to be taking my mom to see ‘My Week with Marilyn” later that afternoon. My gramma was a bit surprised I’d be interested in going to see the film (apparently she isn’t aware of my obsession…). I briefly attempted to explain that I have loved Miss Monroe for many years, and it wasn’t just because she was an iconic star. My love and interest goes much deeper…
I am fascinated with Marilyn Monroe. It’s not about her beauty or her fame. It’s truly a fascination about her. Her tragedy in life and in death. Everything about Marilyn, down to the last detail of her alluring voice and painted on beauty mark, captivates me. Marilyn never grew up with the stability and love that every girl should be exposed to, and it left her entangled in a world where she constantly ached for the love and affection of others.
“No one ever told me I was pretty when I was a little girl. All little girls should be told they’re pretty, even if they aren’t”
Even though Marilyn was the beloved actress of the world, all the love that was thrown her way never seemed to make a difference. The deep tragedy and darkness in her life could never be erased, covered up or replaced.
“I knew I belonged to the public and to the world, not because I was talented or even beautiful, but because I had never belonged to anything or anyone else.”
Marilyn erupted into a star, but it was that star that people loved. The more fame she received, the more the Norma Jean underneath the Monroe Beauty Mark felt unloved and unwanted. She would often say things like ‘shall I be her’, as if the star of ‘Marilyn’ was a completely separate entity from the little girl lost she was on the inside. If you take someone who is severely abused, they may develop an alternate personality as a way to cope through all the pain. I believe ‘Marilyn’ was Norma Jean’s way of coping with her sadness. And anytime the pain would seep through the cracks, she would dull it with drinks and pills.
Even writing these words it saddens me to imagine the suffering she endured. My favourite pictures of the iconic star are not the ones of her made up in a full face of makeup and glittering gowns. I love the candid shots. The ones of her prancing on the beach. The moments of honest laughter and giggles caught on film. And I absolutely die for the photographs before she hit it big in Hollywood. Where she still bears her auburn hair, and a freckled nose from days in the sun.
In watching “My Week with Marilyn”, I was a torn viewer. I was in utter fascination, as well as full of sadness to see a woman living such a troubled private life. I couldn’t imagine the struggle of constantly playing a role for the public. Always being a sex symbol, when all you want is respect in your craft. Always being viewed as a ‘thing’, when all you want is to be seen as a woman. I sit at home and stare at the many photographs of Marilyn in my room and feel so much despair. My fascination runs so deep. How was she able to become this character that had a love affair with the world? How did she nail it every time? With every subtle move and wink, she captured the attention of everyone around her. How was all of this possible, when underneath all the Hollywood dazzle and glam, she told a much different story?
“The truth is I’ve never fooled anyone. I’ve let people fool themselves. They didn’t bother to find out who and what I was. Instead they would invent a character for me. I wouldn’t argue with them. They were obviously loving somebody I wasn’t. When they found this out, they would blame me for disillusioning them and fooling them.”
One thing I cannot argue is that so much of my fascination with Marilyn is rooted in the mystery. Her life was anything but simple. There are complexities that I will never fully understand about her, and because she died so young only snapshots of her life remain. When asked the question, “Who would you like to meet living or dead”, my response will forever be Marilyn Monroe. While I may never be able to decipher the mystery of the ‘world’s favourite actress’, I will always look upon her with awe and intrigue.
Oh how there are so many things I love about Marilyn Monroe…
